Mutual Anime's Wild Chibis
by Yasashii
Summary: Shhhhh....be vewy vewy qwiet. I'm hunting chibis..... but not as well as I would have liked.


Mutual Anime's Wild Chibis  
by: Yasashii(who happens to be hyper during the making of this fic)  
  
Note: I'm crazy, but what else is new? Just random insanity from yours truly. My thanks go out   
to my friends Lady Eyodius and Shinigami Baby for letting me write them into this fic. I hope   
you enjoy it, gals!  
  
Disclaimers: I hate this part....especially because I wish I did own Gundam Wing. Poor misguided   
soul that I am, I don't own it.(cries in self sorrow for two seconds) OK, that's good enough.  
~Yasashii ;)  
  
  
  
  
Mutual Anime's Wild Chibis  
  
A lush green jungle catches the eye of.... well, anyone who decides to watch this program.   
Birds chirp in the background as a young woman with shoulder length red hair and bright violet   
eyes suddenly appears stage center. She is wearing a safari type outfit, complete with a pair of   
binoculars hanging around her neck. Cheesy cue music begins to play...  
  
Eyodius: Welcome all you chibi lovers! I'm your host, Eyodius Belladonna, on Mutual Anime's Wild   
Chibis. On today's show, we investigate the elusive Gundam Wing chibis in their natural   
lifestyle. Let's get started, shall we?(intro music, title, yadda, yadda) Allow me to introduce   
my assistant and good friend, Yasashii.  
  
A kitsune with long wavy black hair and green eyes bounces into view. She wears khaki   
shorts and a forest green tanktop with a safari type vest. Her mouth splits into a wide smile   
and she waves madly.  
  
Yasashii: Hi! I'm Yasashii, your chibi catching expert.  
  
Eyo: Suuuuuuuuure you are...(Yasa's black fox ears twitch slightly in agitation) And on today's   
show, we have a special guest. I am honored to welcome the one and only Shinigami Baby!  
  
A young woman with red hair and bluish green eyes walks on screen. At least, I think   
so..... oh, there she is! She is wearing a camoflauge outfit, complete with a safari hat that   
has little holes poked into it so it doesn't squah her neko ears. She turns to shake hands with   
Eyo and something whaps Yasashii in the head.  
  
Yasashii: Ow!(rubs back of head) Hey, Shini-chan, what the heck are you carrying?  
  
Shinigami Baby: Hm? Oh, this!(proudly displays a huge ass net that is labeled on the handle:   
Giant Chibi Catching Net) It's really gret to be here and all, but do ya wanna know why I'm   
really here?(both Eyo and Yasa lean in closer) So I can catch a chibi Trowa!(they both sweatdrop)  
  
Eyo: Let's get started.(they start trekking into the jungle) Ususally, this is a very dangerous   
place to be wandering around in. To be cautious, we brought tranquilizer darts and nets. Once   
we catch a chibi, we will put a special tag on it so we can track its activities later. Wae do   
not wish to harm the chibis, wae just want to observe them in their natural habitat, away from   
the rest of civilization.  
  
Eyo bumps into a bush and it falls over, revealing the fact that it's a fake. "Made in   
Taiwan" is written on the back. Eyo quickly props it back up and looks the other way, as if the   
incident had never occured. Suddenly, she stops, puts a hand to her ear, and listens.  
  
Eyo: Can you both hear that?(Shinigami Baby and Yasashii stare at her blankly) I think it's the   
infamous Chibi Relena mating call, very typical of the chibi Relena.(indeed, in the distance a   
voice can be heard...)  
  
Chibi Relena: Heeeeeeero! Hurry up and kill me!(repeat until you feel that you want to strangle   
her)  
  
Yasashii seperates a few bushes behind the trio revealing a large clearing. About thirty   
feet away sat a chibi Relena, calling away to her heart's contnet. Shinigami Baby quickly scans   
the clearing and then folds her arms dejectedly.  
  
Shinigami Baby: Where's the chibi Trowa!?  
  
Eyo: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find one. In the meantime, Yasashii can go catch that chibi   
Relena.  
  
Yasashii: Me!?(looks nervously at the chibi) I don't think that's such a good idea....  
  
Eyo: Sure it is!(shoves Yasashii into the clearing, catching the eye of the chibi)  
  
The Relena chibi stops yelling and stares at Yasashii intently. The kitsune gives a weak   
smile and waggles her fingers in greeting. She then begins circling the chibi in the hopes of   
catching it. When she leaps for it, the chibi scampers away and Yasashii gets a mouthful of   
dirt. The chibi then turns around and leaps on Yasashii, which sends the kitsune running like   
crazy around the clearing. Meanwhile, Eyo is very composed behind the bushes and is giving vital   
information on the chibi. Shinigami Baby is cheering Yasashii on and swinging her net around.  
  
Eyo: The Relena chibi is very distinguishable by the two braids meeting in the back of her head.   
This chibi prefers too be heard rather than seen as it is an endangered chibi. This is because   
many hunters get annoyed at it that they go to any lengths to kill it. It also likes to chase   
after the Heero chibi most often for a mate while a Dorothy chibi or two follow her every move.  
(Looks behind her at Yasashii) This particular chibi seems to be rabid. Look at the wide crazy   
eyes and the foaming mouth as it tries to bite Yasa-chan's arm off.  
  
Yasashii: Eyo-chan! Shini-chan! Help me!!  
  
Shinigami Baby: Oh, but you're doing so well! *sigh* Oh, alright. This is wasting time anyway.  
(shoots the chibi Relena with a tranquilizer gun and tags a braid)  
  
Eyo: Moving on.....(a chibi Dorothy pops up out of nowhere and leaps at Yasashii) or not. Ah, I   
see it's the Dorothy chibi, most famous for her enormous forked eyebrows. She usually hangs   
around the Relena chibi for unknown reasons. She is also recognizable for her rediculously long   
blonde hair. This Dorothy also seems to be rabid and wants revenge for the Relena chibi.  
  
Yasashii is doing her best to fend off the rabid Dorothy chibi by using her eyebrows as   
hand holds. The chibi is wildly swinging her fists and feet at Yasashii while screaming   
unintelligibly. The kitsune quickly spies a big rock nearby and begins to smash the chibi   
into it repeatedly.  
  
Yasashii: Die, die, die!!(says this each time the chibi makes contact with the rock)  
  
The chibi finally slumps over and the trio moves on. A little while later, they reach   
another clearing and a little knife whizzes by their heads and lands asa inch away from   
Yasashii's leg.  
  
Yasashii: Uh, is someone trying to tell me something?(examines the knife) C.B? What's C. B.?  
(all puzzle over the initials until Shinigami Baby gets a light bulb over her head)  
  
Shinigami Baby: It stands for Catherine Bloom!(she and Eyo look at Yasashii expectantly)  
  
Yasashii: (stumbles back in realization)Uh-uh, no way, nuthin doin', I think NOT!! If a well   
thrown knife hits me somewhere vital, where would we be then?!(other excuses tumble out of her   
mouth in rapid succession until Eyo whips out a roll of duct tape)  
  
Eyo: Yasa-chan, you are indestructable.  
  
Shinigami Baby: That's right! Go get 'em!  
  
They shove Yasashii into the clearing and she covers her eyes and waits for the   
inevitable. When it doesn't come, the kitsune slowly uncovers her eyes. The Catherine chibi has   
apparently disappeared. Yasashii looks back at Eyo and grins triumphantly, but Eyo isn't paying   
attention to her at all. She seems to be looking at something behind Yasashii. The green eyed   
girl turns around and finds out what it is. In a tree not too far away are chibi Heero and chibi   
Duo in the middle of..... their mating ritual. Wanting to get a better look, Yasashii tried to   
take a couple steps forward, but found that her shorts were caught on a low branch.  
  
Yasashii: Shit!(looks down and untangles herself, which happened to be very noisy)  
  
When she looked back at the chibis, both were sitting perfectly still and were glaring at   
her. She had interrupted them.  
  
Yasashii: (slowly backing away)Eyo, the chibis are looking at me funny....  
  
In one fluid movement, the Duo chibi whipped out a mini scythe while the chibi Heero   
produced an automatic sniper rifle. The kitsune made a cross with her index fingers and put them   
in front of her face to try and ward off the intimidating chibis. The chibi Heero clicks off the   
safety. Ten seconds go by, then a full two minutes pass. All of asudden, the chibi Duo lets   
loose a shrill battle cry and both chibis rush at Yasashii. The girl lets out a scream of her   
own and begins running as fast as her legs can carry her. The camera pans back to Eyo who is   
giving even more vital information that is drowned out by the sounds of gunshots and screams.   
Seeing that no one can hear her, she reaches up and pets her little chibi Kenshin that is perched   
on her shoulder but wasn't there two seconds ago. The authoress was threatened bodily harm if he   
wasn't there, so there he is.  
  
Yasashii: Eyo! Help meeeeee!!  
  
Eyo: I can't, I'm the host.  
  
Yasashii: You little - AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!(barely misses getting her ears chopped in   
half by chibi Duo's scythe) Please, help meeeeee! Shini-chan!!(the camera pans around the area,   
but Shinigami Baby is nowhere to be found) where the Hell did she go!?(screams as a bullet rips   
her clothing)  
  
The chibis seem to be having fun(in a psychotic way) as they try to mutilate Yasashii.   
Suddenly, a multitude of clicks are heard. Everyone stops and looks at the chibi Heero who seems   
to have run out of bullets. He glares at the gun, shrugs and tosses it aside. He then looks at   
the chibi Duo and promptly jumps him. They then leave to pick up where they left off earlier.  
  
Eyo: Hey, Yasa-chan! Shini-chan's back!  
  
Yasashii moves to go stand next to Eyo. Her black hair is rather disheveled, her clothes   
are torn and stained and it looks like she was scared shitless, but she's basically okay. The   
camera then pans over to Shinigami Baby who is cuddling a chibi Trowa.  
  
Shinigami Baby: See, I found one! Isn't he just too kawaii?(Yasashii sweatdrops and then begins   
to yell with the force of a tornado)  
  
Yasashii: Where the Hell were you when tose psycho chibis were attacking me!??! Doesn't the word   
"help" mean anything to you, or were you too busy Trowa hunting!?  
  
Shinigami Baby: I saw him right after we sent you to wrestle the chibi Catherine, so I went to go   
get him. This net really comes in handy.(taps her handy dandy Chibi Catching Net on the ground)  
  
A sudden rustling of leaves catches the trio's attention off to the right. the bushes   
part, revealing a chibi Quatre. He was wearing combaat gear and had war paint on his face. His   
breathing was heavy and he looked..... well.. just plain mad. Shinigami Baby gulped nervously   
and handed him the chibi Trowa. He snatched him from her hands and put him down gently behind   
himself. He looked at Shinigami Baby and started growling. He then began chasing her. After   
three minutes of this, Yasashii is seen looking on in shock.  
  
Yasashii: Nothing happened to me! Nothing....  
  
Shinigami Baby:(while running) Screw this!(pulls out her tranquilizer gun and stops to aim at the   
chibi Quatre)  
  
Chibi Quatre: Oh, crap!  
  
Just as the neko girl shoots, the chibi hides behind Yasashii and the kitsune is hit in the   
leg. She just looks down and shrugs.  
  
Yasashii:(blinks a few times as her vision becomes blurry) Figures.(looks at both girls) I hate   
you both...  
  
As she began to slump to the ground, the chibi Quatre grinned and hauled the chibi   
Trowa away.  
  
Shinigami Baby: Oops. Gomen ne, Yasa-chan.  
  
Eyo: Don't think you're getting off that easy, Yasashii! You still have to wrestle the chibi   
Sally Po!  
  
Yasashii: Oh, fuck you.(promptly passes out)  
  
So, without further ado, the two redheads manage to drag the unconscious kitsune to the   
next clearing. What the two girls see is a field full of chibi Wufeis.  
  
Shinigami Baby: Woohoo!  
  
The next thing anyone knows, the neko girl is shoving all of the Wufei chibis into the back   
of a big ass U-Haul truck. By this time, Yasashii has become semi-conscious and looks on in   
wonder at all the chibi Wufeis.  
  
Yasashii: Wha-?  
  
Shinigami Baby: Look at all the chibi Wu-chans I caught!  
  
All Chibi Wu-chans: (indignantly)Onna! Don't call me Wu-chan!  
  
Shinigami Baby: Then don't call me onna!  
  
Chibi Wu-chans: Injustice!!  
  
Eyo: (patting her chibi Kenshin)Look on the bright side, Yasa-chan! You don't have to wrestle   
any chibi Wufeis!  
  
Yasashii: Gee, thanks a lot.  
  
Eyo: Well, that ends today's show. Join us next time when we get to see Yasashii wrestle the   
chibi bad guys of Yu Yu Hakusho! Ja ne!(Yasashii's eyes widen in terror)  
  
Yasashii: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
(the yell echoes around the world)  
  
  
  
Owari.  
  
Well, I know that there was a lot of self insertion, but who cares! Lady Eyodius is writing the   
next chapter, so if you're desperate for more, go bug her. I got to torture myself this time,   
and it was fun! Let me know what you think of it! Ja!  
~Yasashii ;) 


End file.
